Eye Contact – Accessing & Delivering Information
Accessing & Delivering Information
Depending upon the person eye contact (movement) may be able to tell you specific things about their way of communicating & processing information & their emotional response in the situation.
A person accesses information through eye movement – let’s say up & to the left (theirs) may indicate the person is visually recalling/reconstructing information (generally). This lets you know if they are remembering or accessing information from the past. Up & to the right (theirs) would reflect most likely the person is creating or constructing an image or visual representation of what you are communicating about.
How can you use this? Be more intentional in the words you use – whether they are past or future or visual in nature – creation or construction oriented – visual predicates that lead in the visual sense towards specific processes. Then track & monitor whether you get the responses desired & whether the person you are communicating with is responding visually – past or present focused – created or constructed. (You of course can do this with the other senses as well – Auditory-Kinesthetic-Olfactory-Gustatory).
Calibrating their “eye accessing” responses is important as they may differ from one person the next although there is a pattern you may notice for most people. Meaning – ask them specific questions possibly & notice what they do – how they move their eyes in response to the question & notice if there is a pattern developing.
This happens (eye accessing) with the Auditory (Hearing) & the Kinesthetic (feeling/sensation/emotion) senses as well. And for “Internal Dialogue” (Auditory digital – Ad) too. When people talk to themselves (Ad) they usually look down to the left (makes sense or not) & when they “feel/emote” they will likely access down to the right (down right good) as a general rule.
By noticing the accessing & how the person is processing information (responding) you can determine the impact & effect of the communication you are delivering & the responses you acquire or get. You can also begin to lead with these patterns of responding as well (with your eye accessing patterns – hmmmm). :>)
100% rule of Communication – You are 100% responsible for the responses you get.
If you have the tools to determine the kinds of responses, you get (eye accessing is one of those tools) then you will be a much more powerful & effective communicator.
This comes from NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming & is a part of the Practitioner Training program. I teach how to notice the “smaller chunks” of processes, details that can make a huge difference in how you communicate.
You may be asking – What does this have to do with making eye contact?
The person may be processing & looking in various directions & we may be wondering “Why no eye contact?” or making some kind of judgment personally about the person in front of us. It is very possible (& likely) because they are accessing information or creating a response.
You know when someone is avoiding eye contact. Don’t you?! It is probably because they are either 1) feeling uncomfortable or something like that (down to the right – eyes) or 2) talking to themselves inside their head (down to the left). If you can get them to lift up their head – look straight ahead & (not be in their line of sight) you can likely have a good chance to make contact with them. Stepping to the side of the person & coming from a position of less direct may be a good idea. It often helps to get a little rapport with them before you do.
This may provide them a “clear slate or palate” with which you can begin to draw upon the resources required to establish a great connection with them & accomplish your outcomes.
There’s a lot more to eye accessing & state control & really learning how to communicate at an accelerated rate.
Thanks, & “make contact from the heart of the mind”!